


I’ll take what you will give

by orphan_account



Category: Glee
Genre: Anal Sex, Fingerfucking, M/M, Shower Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-14
Updated: 2012-03-14
Packaged: 2017-11-01 22:51:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/362146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was supposed to be just a regular night of casual sex with Sebastian, but Kurt can’t help but feel as though something has changed between them. Especially when Sebastian lets Kurt fuck him for the first time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I’ll take what you will give

**Author's Note:**

> Kurtbastian future fic. Title is from Control by Metro Station.

Sebastian likes to be fingered in the shower.

This is something Kurt notices soon after they begin fooling around, once he starts learning all of Sebastian’s stupid little quirks. Like how Sebastian always calls at exactly seven fifteen at night or how he brings his own condoms even though Kurt has a brand new box in his sock drawer. Kurt doesn’t complain. He’s more than okay with their arrangement of sleeping together once or twice a week for some stress relief after exams and auditions and ten page papers on international treaties. Sebastian’s organizational habits just mean that Kurt doesn’t need to think too hard about what they’re doing and why.

It’s Sebastian's demand to be finger fucked that amuses him the most. He never asks, never begs; just tells Kurt where to touch him and adds a half-hearted insult if Kurt doesn't pay him any attention. He always suggests a shower after they’ve gotten off once already and the come and sweat are just beginning to cool on their bodies. Sometimes he'll drag Kurt in before the water's even hot and turn his back waiting for Kurt to begin. They haven't gotten as far as anal yet, though, and he doesn’t think Sebastian’s the type of guy to like bottoming. Kurt himself has only bottomed about a half dozen times with Sebastian, keeping most of their sexcapades to blowjobs and handjobs and other inventive non-penetrative activities, but he still enjoys pressing and twisting a few fingers into Sebastian’s hole until Sebastian's sputtering and dizzy, with Sebastian coming against the tiles before he drops to his knees to suck Kurt off.

Sometimes Kurt wonders if this is Sebastian's messed up way of letting Kurt take control, or perhaps he’s allowing himself to relinquish it. Sebastian's kind of a control freak. He’s organized to the point of obsession, is almost anal retentive about it in fact, and is the one to instigate their encounters ninety percent of the time. Kurt often finds himself on the receiving end of whatever Sebastian wants to give him without being able to help Sebastian get off unless it’s in the shower. Sebastian says he likes to be in control of his own orgasms. This isn't to say that Kurt even minds all that much. Sebastian is attentive to his partner and is never domineering to the point of emasculating him.

Still, it makes Kurt glad to know that Sebastian is at his happiest when he’s got him pressed up against the shower door with two fingers buried to the knuckle. It's the only time Kurt gets some real reactions from him. Sebastian's a mystery wrapped in an enigma, reining himself in with an enviable amount of self-control, and getting him to fall apart is pretty empowering.

It is half way through March and this time it's no different. The air is thick with sex and Kurt doesn't think he's ever sweat this much in his life, not even that time last summer when the air conditioner in Rachel’s apartment broke during a heat wave. Sebastian's panting next to him, their arms and legs sticky where they’re pressed together because dorm beds are too small for one grown adult male let alone two.

Kurt trails his fingers up his abdomen, smearing come into his skin with lazy swoops, letting his body come down from orgasm in quiet contemplation. The smug grin Sebastian always seems to wear is audible as he huffs breathy little laughs. Three months in and this might be their best sex yet.

They lay like this for a few moments more, enjoying their faint electric afterglow that’s only interrupted by the shouts of other guys in the dorm and the occasional booming vocals of the two voice majors down the hall. It’s all pretty par for the course in a performing arts school.

When the air has cooled and Sebastian is no longer giggling to himself, Kurt begins to count, waiting for when Sebastian opens his mouth. He gets all the way to forty-seven Mississippis before Sebastian says, "Think the guys in your dorm will be pissed if we take a shower?"

Kurt smirks and tips his head to the side to look at him. He's been anticipating this since Sebastian said that Kurt had better let his roommate know he’s getting sexiled before he gets there. Sebastian’s been wanting this more and more often, to the point where Kurt’s beginning to expect it each time. Though he doesn’t get the chance to finger Sebastian every time, he always enjoys their showers together even if he's had a few stern reprimands about shower etiquette from the resident director.

Making Sebastian Smythe fall apart with the touch of his fingertips is kind of worth the humiliation if he's honest.

"Just don't be so loud this time or else we're never showering together here again," he says now. "You'll have to walk back to your place sticky and disheveled and needy or we do it at your place."

Sebastian pouts and Kurt wishes he had his camera because it's the most ridiculous expression he's ever seen, practically cartoonish in its exaggeration. He leans over to Kurt and presses a dirty, wet kiss to his lips before swinging his legs over the edge of the bed and hopping down from where it's lofted. He doesn't help Kurt down or even wait for him before he's scrounging in the boxes under Kurt's bed for a spare towel and wrapping it around his hips.

"If you don't hurry up, I'll start without you," he says as he walks out of the room with Kurt’s keys. The towel slips low and Kurt stares after him, eyes roaming over every curve and line until Sebastian has shut the door.

Kurt slips off the bed, puts on his bathrobe and grabs his shower caddy, and follows Sebastian down the hall. Sebastian's been in his dorm so many times some of his hallmates actually think Sebastian is a student there. Kurt has already had to correct a resident assistant who berated Sebastian for not showing up to a hall meeting. Maybe they should start using his apartment more often instead, even if it’s inconvenient for Kurt to walk of shame all the way back to NYADA from across town.

Sometimes Kurt lays awake at night and thinks of how he went from wanting only romance to having no-strings sex with the guy who was once his enemy. Two years ago he would never have expected to have befriended Sebastian; six months ago he’d have gagged at the thought they’d sleep together with any regularity. Perhaps it’s part of growing up and wanting new things and new experiences, reaching out and forgiving the people in his past and forging new friendships.

Or perhaps he’s just horny. Sleeping with Sebastian is a better alternative than sleeping with any number of random hook-ups or NYADA freshmen looking to “network.”

As soon as they step into the bathroom, Sebastian has him pressed up against the stall door before the latch is even hooked. His bathrobe pools at his feet when Sebastian yanks it from his body, leaving him naked and shivering under Sebastian’s touch. It’s always like this, where one kiss, one touch sets Kurt on fire in an instant. Even on days Kurt’s not feeling particularly sexy, just one look from Sebastian has him on his knees begging.

Kurt’s hands reach up to grasp the edges of the stall. He levers himself up so that he can wraps his legs around Sebastian’s waist. Sebastian’s towel falls to the ground, letting his cock rub against Kurt’s with a slow tease. They rut together in earnest, moans muffled by their lips as they not so much as kiss as they breathe the same breath. It’s a wonder how quick things heat up between them, like it’s all or nothing. Nothing about them is gradual.

They’d come just minutes ago and are already craving more. Sebastian’s cock slips between Kurt’s cheeks where it’s still slick with excess lubricant. Kurt can feel the head catch against his hole and it’d be so easy to just reach down and guide Sebastian’s cock inside. Then they could fuck against the door, test just how sturdy the school has built these stalls, but they won’t. They’ve come to shower and Kurt is hoping that that will lead to more.

Soon they begin to calm down, their kisses are less intense and their cocks no longer slide together with the same desperation that they had. Sebastian buries his nose in Kurt’s neck as he lets him down, holding on tight until Kurt’s got his legs sturdy under him.

“Fuck me,” Sebastian whispers like it’s a secret. His eyes give away his desperation and desire to be taken like this. Sometimes Kurt wonders if they could ever do more than fingers. He’d love to have Sebastian wrapped up in his arms as he fucks into him, or face down on the bed or riding him or any of the many positions Kurt dreams about.

Kurt will never call attention to Sebastian’s desire, though he craves to know what goes on in Sebastian’s head sometimes. If he speaks about it out loud, he knows it could scare Sebastian away. It’d be too much like feelings and though they have a good time together, all they do is hang out and fuck. Nothing more.

(This is somewhat of a lie because Kurt knows, but will never admit to, just how often he has dropped plans to cater to Sebastian’s whims. He was hesitant to do that for Blaine when they were trying to make things work. Sebastian, he’s sure, has done the same considering the days when he’s showed up with Kurt’s favorite curry when he’s having a bad day.)

The showers get hot at a snail’s pace on the fifth floor so Kurt decides to waste time by teasing Sebastian. He rubs a dry finger down Sebastian’s cleft and presses against his hole. The over-sensitive muscle twitches and Sebastian shifts his hips to encourage Kurt to do it again.

Kurt brings his finger to his mouth and wets it with spit. It’s not enough but it’ll do for the next few minutes until the steady stream from the shower can provide a little better glide. There are a few packets of lube in his shower caddy but he’d rather not waste them when water works fine for a few fingers.

He rubs Sebastian with the slick tip of his finger and delights in the frustrated whine that echoes off of the tile around them. Sebastian grips his shoulders tighter when Kurt manages to push in to the first knuckle. It’s dry and rough and he knows it’s such a tease. The needy little whines that Sebastian makes bring a smile to his lips.

Annoyed that he won’t get any more than that, Sebastian seems to give up on letting the water warm up and pulls Kurt behind the shower curtain. The spray is lukewarm but it feels good on his hot skin as it washes all traces of come and sweat down the drain.

Sebastian pulls him into a frantic kiss that’s all tongue and the taste of water. Everything is always so frenzied with Sebastian, as if it’s always the last time they do this. Kurt loves it but sometimes he wishes they could slow down and enjoy it.

“Now,” Sebastian says when he pulls back. “Come on. I want it.”

Kurt hesitates for a split second. That’s close to begging coming from Sebastian. He looks a mixture of determined and nervous, an expression that Kurt’s never seen on him. It’s all unexpected and Kurt feels his world begin to tilt just a little.

He gives Sebastian a soft, lingering kiss before he spins him and pushes him against the tiles. The smooth plane of muscle on Sebastian’s back twitch as he braces himself and spreads his legs. Sometimes Kurt can’t help but marvel at how beautiful Sebastian is; how soft his skin feels and the perfect lines and angles of his body.

Rivulets of water run down the curve of Sebastian’s spine and Kurt bends to lick it up with a flick of his tongue. He moves lower down Sebastian’s body, lapping at water that clings to his skin. His tongue teases the shallow cleft above Sebastian’s ass, but he’s unwilling to go there at this juncture of their relationship. Not yet.

Sebastian groans when Kurt grazes his teeth over the fleshy curve. “Don’t start what you won’t finish.”

Kurt stands and uses the back of his wrist to push his wet bangs out of his eyes. Sebastian is twists around to reach back and press an impatient finger up to a knuckle, grunting when it’s just not enough. He can’t get his fingers deep enough with his position, can’t make them twist the way that he likes it.

That doesn’t stop the view from being amazing, though. Kurt’s body thrums with a sudden and uncontrollable lust, an urge to reach out and be the cause of Sebastian’s short little panting breaths. Sebastian’s hand shakes as he uncurls a second finger from his fist and pushes it in with the first. His skin stretches perfectly around the intrusions, blossoming bright red with the effort, and when he pulls them out slow enough to tease, the broken noise that echoes off the tiled walls causes such lust that Kurt springs into action.

He crowds up against Sebastian’s back, hand curled possessively around Sebastian’s fist, guiding his fingers to fuck slower, pushing them deeper until Sebastian hisses at the strain. Kurt licks and bites at Sebastian’s shoulder, then he lets him pull out again. They keep at this torturous rhythm for a few long minutes, with Sebastian whining and grunting as Kurt directs his hand. They strain their necks to press their faces together; lips and noses and cheeks pressed against one another in a mockery of a kiss, breathing together in the spray of the shower.

“More,” Sebastian says against Kurt’s lips. His voice is strained and demanding but the word is tinted with something else, something that makes Kurt’s stomach clench. Sebastian’s always been a little needy and has always taken what he desires, but this is different. If Kurt didn’t know better, he’d think that Sebastian was desperate. Sebastian didn’t do desperate.

Kurt holds three fingers up to Sebastian’s lips and watches with rapt attention as his lover brings them into the perfect heat of his mouth. The feel of Sebastian wrapped around him, sucking and licking and biting, drives Kurt crazy. He’s well aware of how his cock hangs heavy and eager for Sebastian to put that talent to better use, but he has to ignore it. He’ll be rewarded later.

Sebastian’s foot slips a little and he nearly gags on Kurt’s fingers as they’re pushed further into his mouth. The movement has made Sebastian’s thigh press tight against Kurt’s groin and he takes the chance to rut, relieving some of the built-up pressure in his cock and balls. There’s something dirty about it that just turns Kurt on even more, the way he’s using an innocuous part of Sebastian’s body to give him pleasure when Sebastian would be glad to take him in his mouth instead.

His fingers come out from between Sebastian’s lips, a glistening string stretching from Sebastian to Kurt. Sebastian removes his own fingers from where he’d been holding himself open and pulls at his cheeks to give Kurt a view of his stretched pink rim.

The shower begins to wash away the spit that’s dripping from his fingers as he brings them to Sebastian’s hole. Sebastian howls from the roughness as Kurt pushes all three in at once, forcing him to stretch more than he’s ready for. He slams his hand against the tile of the stall and curses.

“That’s so good,” he says. “Fuck, so good.”

Kurt hums, distracted by the tight constriction around his fingers. His brain supplies the intense mental images and phantom touches of how good Sebastian would look and feel around his cock. He doesn’t want anything more than to bend Sebastian over and bury himself deep, claim him and take him for his own.

Sebastian pushes back onto Kurt’s hand, groaning at the thickness of Kurt’s fingers in his ass. This is more than what is usual for them; Kurt has come into the habit of crooking two fingers and finding his p-spot with alarming accuracy while Sebastian jerks off onto the tile. Now Sebastian seems more eager than ever for Kurt to work him over. Kurt tries to keep a steady rhythm, but Sebastian keeps slamming back onto Kurt’s fingers, whining as he does so.

At some point Sebastian sighs with frustration. “It’s not enough.”

“What isn’t?” Kurt asks. His voice feels lazy and slow, his mind fogged with hot steam and lust. He hasn’t ceased thinking about how tight Sebastian would be around him. He pumps his fingers out and then slams them back in again with unexpected strength, pitching Sebastian forward against the wall. He imagines that his fingers are his cock and moans. Sebastian grunts as he pushes back just as hard.

“Want you to fuck me,” Sebastian says in a way that’s more of an animalistic growl than human speech. Kurt wishes he could tell Sebastian to say it again just like that, but Sebastian would tease him for it.

Amused and not a little confused, Kurt says, “But I am fucking you.” He twists his fingers and sweeps over the soft gland to make his point. Sebastian’s back bows into a perfect curve as he moans loud and broken. The way the sound echoes is beautiful and Kurt doesn’t doubt that anyone passing can hear. He kind of hopes they can.

Kurt pauses to let Sebastian have a moment to recover. When he does, he reaches behind to grab Kurt’s dick and says, “No. I _want you to fuck me._ ”

Sebastian doesn’t explain further than that. Instead he rubs the head of Kurt’s cock over one ass cheek until it slips just below where Kurt’s working him over. Then he says, voice so soft Kurt almost doesn’t hear over the shower, “ _Please._ ”

Kurt’s ears ring, the word _please_ echoing in his head like a bell. He’s asking, begging for Kurt to fuck him. Sebastian has never expressed an interest in being fucked, in letting Kurt claim him, and he’s never uttered the word ‘please’ since Kurt has known him. Kurt finds himself afraid all of a sudden, anxiety gripping his heart because _what does this mean?_ Three months of friends with benefits and a year of being frenemies before that and now things are changing. He doesn’t want to mess this up.

Sebastian still has hold of his dick and is rubbing the head close to his hole, slipping against Kurt’s fingers where they’re still buried deep. His eyes are frantic with desire, brows creasing when Kurt doesn’t move right away. In a flash decision, Kurt decides to go with it, let Sebastian decide what they do just like always. He doesn’t want to fuck this up even if their relationship is just casual sex with no strings attached. Telling Sebastian no will be the end of all that they have.

Kurt answers him with a kiss, noting with surprising affection how Sebastian sags with relief when it becomes clear to him that Kurt wants this. Fuck, Kurt _needs_ this. Though he’d been content with getting Sebastian off with handjobs and blowjobs and fingering, he wants more. He wants to be close to him, for whatever reason he’s unwilling to contemplate right now.

So Kurt removes his fingers from Sebastian’s hole, running a comforting hand down his back as Sebastian shivers from the sudden loss. There’s an extra condom and single use packets of lube in his shower caddy from last week. Sebastian had insisted on fucking Kurt in the shower then to save time – something about a midterm and killing two birds that Kurt was too caught up in Sebastian’s touches to pay attention to. He pokes his head out of the shower to dig around in the caddy for them and laughs when he slips and nearly tumbles out of the stall onto his face when he can’t quite reach.

Sebastian grabs him around the hips and pulls him back in. He says something that Kurt’s sure is witty and insulting to Kurt’s skills as a dancer or something, but he doesn’t care to listen. He’s too focused on rolling the condom down his dick and how his heart’s doing this wild beating thing that has little to do with sex and a lot to do with the gentle way Sebastian still has his hands wrapped around his waist.

With the condom snug around his cock, Kurt pushes Sebastian against the wall opposite the showerhead. He steps behind him and takes a moment to collect himself. This isn’t his first time having sex, but it almost feels like he’s back in high school, exploring his lover’s body for the first time. Sebastian’s opening himself up in a way he’s never expected and it’s making Kurt himself feel stripped bare.

“I know you have a great view to look at, but do you mind?” Sebastian asks when it’s apparent that Kurt’s taking too long. “Or have you forgotten where your dick goes?”

Kurt swats him on the ass for that, enjoying the soft ‘oh!’ that tumbles from Sebastian’s lips.

Plain shower water isn’t the best lubrication, this Kurt knows from experience. There was one frightening instance in his freshman year when a condom tore right in half and he’d had to fish it out with anxious fingers. It had left him scarred and unwilling to have any kind of sex until he had googled everything he needed to know about condom safety and proper lubricant usage that he never learned in sex ed.

So he lubes Sebastian’s rim with care, letting the shower beat down on his back so that it isn’t washed away. Sebastian’s so open for him even after only being fingered for a few minutes and the muscles flutter under Kurt’s fingers. If it weren’t for the ever-present desire beating at the base of his skull (and the fact that Sebastian would kick him in the shin if he didn’t get on with it), Kurt could keep fingering him forever. Sebastian is soft and warm and squirms at every movement Kurt makes. It’s his reactions that are the most intoxicating thing and Kurt’s eager to discover more.

Kurt moves on to lube his dick, not taking the same extra attention he had with Sebastian, too excited to do a perfect job of it. He pumps a few times to get it as slick as he can and excess lubricant drips and washes down the drain. Sebastian has resituated himself against the wall, legs spread and arms holding most of his weight. He wiggles his ass as Kurt steps forward, rolls his hips when Kurt’s cock brushes over his hole.

The head of Kurt’s dick pops through Sebastian’s tight heat with no finesse. There’s a moment when Kurt’s almost unable to control himself, has to stop himself from slamming forward because the feeling of Sebastian around him drives him crazy. It’s the hiss of pain from Sebastian that holds him back.

“Seriously?” he asks, teeth gritted as he tries to reign in his frustration.

“Fuck you,” Sebastian says. His is breathing labored as he takes Kurt’s dick into him, reaching through his legs to guide it straight. “Don’t want to give you an inflated or anything but you’re way bigger than three fingers.”

Kurt laughs. “Thank you. I do have a nice dick, don’t I?”

Sebastian responds with a groan, either from Kurt’s preening or the feel of his cock buried deep. Kurt isn’t able to ask, and doesn’t care to know, because Sebastian is hot around his cock, squeezing despite his attempts to relax. He tries in vain to sooth the tense muscles in Sebastian’s shoulders but he can’t seem to string a coherent thought together.

“Please tell me I can fuck you now,” Kurt says. Any decorum he’d once had seems to have left him, though it’s no wonder why.

“Not gonna stop you,” says Sebastian, voice just as tight as Kurt’s. He grunts as Kurt slides out of him before slamming himself back onto Kurt’s cock as soon as it’s half-way out. Sebastian’s jaw drops in a noiseless moan; face pinched with desire from what Kurt assumes is the feeling of blissful fullness. At least that’s the face Kurt makes when Sebastian fucks him.

It’s just as wonderful and intense for Kurt as it seems to be for Sebastian, and it’s making him moan with each slap of skin-on-skin. Sebastian’s so tight around him, so perfect and hot; he’s making all the right noises and moving with his own rhythm that keeps Kurt guessing. Though they’ve never talked about their preferences, Sebastian’s always come off as the type of guy who preferred to top. It’s only now that Kurt considers that maybe bottoming might be another thing he’s good at, gyrating his hips and taking everything Kurt doles out.

The sensations are dizzying and Kurt loses himself as fast as an ocean wave could take him under. He can faintly hear Sebastian telling him to go faster, deeper, harder over the hum of the showerhead. Kurt follows these instructions blindly because Sebastian’s had some pretty good ideas so far. Why question him now?

He’s vaguely aware of Sebastian’s hand keeping pace on his own dick and wonders if he should reach around to give him a hand, but there’s a familiar feeling settling low in his stomach and spreading through his legs. All he can do is grip Sebastian tight around the hips and pound into him with all he’s got, creeping towards the edge so that he can seek the climax of his pleasure. Kurt comes with a gasp, head falling to Sebastian’s shoulder as his thrusts become shallow, riding out his orgasm.

The desire to remain ensconced in Sebastian wells up in his chest. He wants to keep Sebastian, make him his forever, and that’s a feeling Kurt hasn’t felt in a long time. It without a doubt scares him a little. What he feels isn’t love, no, but it’s one of those unnamed feelings that are just as messy and poignant and deep as love. It’s adoration and desire and attraction and affection and unbridled fear all wrapped up in an ominous box that Kurt’s not sure what to do with. He decides that it’s best if he ignores it for now and let Sebastian decide what they should do.

Sebastian sighs when Kurt pulls his dick out and turns around with a pleased smile on his face, looking much like the cat that got the canary. He presses a chaste kiss to Kurt’s lips and says, “Well that was fun.”

Kurt’s not able to make more than monosyllabic noises so he just hums with agreement. His orgasm still has him a bit cross-eyed, and the new feelings are making his head spin, so he’s sure he’s giving Sebastian the dumbest grin. If Sebastian teases him for it, so be it. Kurt feels great.

They stand under the spray for a moment, just staring at each other. With the confusing web of new emotions beginning to settle in Kurt’s mind, he’s a little unsure of what to say next. Thankfully Sebastian gets frustrated at their unexplained standstill and pulls him into an embrace, wrapping his long arms around Kurt’s shoulders before pressing their lips together for a long, slow kiss.

When Sebastian breaks away, he says, “So I don’t have class tomorrow and I know you don’t have rehearsal until noon. Think your roommate would be mad if I slept over?”

“Probably,” Kurt says and then grins. The last time Sebastian had stayed over, his roommate had gotten an eyeful of Sebastian jerking off to porn on his iPhone while Kurt was in class (Sebastian isn’t allowed on Kurt’s computer after the time he walked in to find Sebastian jerking off to porn). Kurt had admonished Sebastian and apologized to Jason when he returned, but had rewarded Sebastian when they were once alone once again. Jason was kind of a tool and deserved it. “All the more reason for you to stay, I think.”

Sebastian looks down at him for a moment, giving Kurt a strange, far away look before he chuckles to himself. “Yeah, I’ll stay as long as you want.”


End file.
